I am not homeless anymore BUT….

I not homeless anymore but I have learned a few things that have changed my behavior differently then the rest of society,

I may not be homeless anymore but I still Layer up clothing every morning, now because I live in the woods on the northern cali coast even inside my house I am wearing 2 sweats with 2 socks one pair up to my knees for warmth, underneath my jeans.

I may not be homeless anymore but the challenges of the little things get to me, that “HOUSIES” don’t ever have to worry about, Like homesteading and trying to do the simple things like bathe, go the bathroom, recycle and cook and clean. Its not easy when you don’t have unlimited amounts of resources Housies take for granted like HOT water coming out of the sink, having a sink, having water in your toliet to help brush and clean it, have sewage take care of that waste, Having HOT water to bathe, do the dishes, clean with. Yes, Dishes attract Roaches (killermartinis*)and cleaning them takes amenities that cost MONEY, hot water, soap,sponges.

I may not be homeless anymore but I walk everywhere still, I am still getting to know the bus system here and I still wouldn’t pay to go anywhere much at all even just the $1 it is to ride the bus, I always find myself walking the whole length of town from safeway to the food bank and never getting tired, even going in circles sometimes to get errands done( on bad days when I don’t map my day) Even on a bad day walking around from 9-12 in Fort Bragg it never will compare to one day homeless in Santa Rosa. I traveled citys in days, most recently from Windsor to Santa Rosa to Sebastopol and back and forth on the bus all day long to survive. ,Here its cake-walk.

I may not be homeless but I still carry around everything with me. You never know when you’ll need another layer, a new pair of socks, shower items, identification, computer etc. I gave up carrying a PURSE a long time ago when It was deemed stupid to have so much crap in my purse, backpack and etc, so I narrow it down to one backpack and 1 reusable grocery bag when I am in town but I still look like a homeless bag lady.

I may not be homeless anymore but I am always looking for the resources around me for better housing, food, childcare, etc, because I will never not be a LOW INCOME person, but I can always do something to get involved in the resources in my community.

I may not be homeless anymore but I am still not secure, Disabled SSI, Welfare, Foodstamps, I will always be in this category of LOW. I don’t mind really.

I may not be homeless anymore but I SEE everything and appreciate it, I notice the little bird saying hello to me in the morning and I make it a practice for my son to say hello to the sun when we see it in the morning, so he notices what is going on outside, he knows that our property we only get a few hours of sun in the morning to warm things up and stock for the day then we are inside to play, that is the winter schedule at least. The only difference in summer is possible a few more hours of sun to garden outside. I hang out in the free places and walk in the streets in the AM and see things that housies don’t see. See people just existing in the free realms because that is the only places we are allowed to go, during the day the coffee shops are happy to accept anyone with enough change for a coffee to sit but you begin to get looked at funny when you hang out for too long without consuming something from the facility. Let alone if your hanging out ALL day and you get asked to leave when they close, now that’s always fun.

I may not be homeless anymore but I still accept free food, I am still not the best green thumb and cant grow in frozen soil unless I have a large hoop house/greenhouse I will be hitting up the local food bank all winter for some winter greens.

I may not be homeless anymore but I Don’t WANT STUFF, I am tired of cleaning after only 3-4 years not being homeless, all our stuff is unnecessary I dont understand how a child my sons age can learn to appreciate anything if he has always been given everything his whole life, since being homeless and having a child, of course,my child is more spoiled then I ever was, he has always been given anything he wants by Grandma, anything he asks for and try to explain santa to a 3 year old who has everything and nowhere to put it, I dont kow what to do, My house isn’t big enough for toys and I dont even have a closet for myself let alone a dresser for my son, or room for either. I guess we just keep giving him more like the rest of consumerist soicety does because of the obsolesence of our consumer goods I am just feeding into the fact that my son can throw away his used toys and items. Sure we could donate them to a local thrift store, but guess what happens when I give to a thrift store, the next week when that item does’t sell I see it donated to the foodbank and straight back to people like me who dont know what to do with our used stuff.

I may not be homeless anymore but I have a huge vision for my future, low income or not. I know that from a little market research that the need and want for localization in our community is there. Whether or not I am homeless or not I need to be able to connect with my community to know that my family will be ok.

I may not be homeless anymore, but homesteading on a property you don’t own may as well be homeless, I wish that we could have a huge break and actually get the property we need and home to start over like all you HOUSIES have the ability to get, You can get the bank loans for whatever you think of, I cant, You can go to your friends and borrow money ( hey can I borrow some of your friends) and you can save up your job moneys to afford a place that’s consumer-tastic in all its unnecessary glory, I cant. I am stuck with what I have.
I may not be homeless but I don’t have a solid HOME or community and at least with my business idea I may or may not be able to create a community around me to find the perfect safe UN-consumer Home that my little over-worked and underpaid family deserves.


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